how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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