I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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