Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We had to coat check the pizza.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
