You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
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