dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
