Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
