U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
