i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
