I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
