Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
