Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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