You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
