I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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