used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
