bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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