I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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