i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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