you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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