I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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