i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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