well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is my gift to your gina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
