He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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