I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
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I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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