dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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