A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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