4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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