playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
