Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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