Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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