just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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