We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
