Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
