oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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