He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
