she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
