My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize