how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love you. Go after that dick
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
