dude i'm inner monologue high
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
