perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
