i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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