your thong is hanging out like whoa
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
