Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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