Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
