I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Randomize
