North Korea, Best Korea!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
