maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
