it wasn't lemon gatorade
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
