I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
