If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
