I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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