I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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