i need an iv and a liver transplant
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
