Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
