the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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