And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
