He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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