I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm at about main and main street
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
