I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize