my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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