just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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