I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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